today was pretty normal. class was a little quieter. or not. so i got back another result. lit essay. everyone since to have done...rather well. at least they passed. i failed.badly. n this essay is 25% of my SA2. that goes the chance of scoring distinction for lit. I seriously suck in everything. I'm juz not gd in anything. It's like even if I do well in science n math, it doesn't really matter cuz I'm not the outstanding one. There will always be at least 20ppl better than me. So wat if I do well? Who really cares? even my parens...juz my dad doesn't care. When i tell him I got A1 for science for CT2, the first thing he said was 'oh...i bet 25ppl also got A1' n yes i know there were 32 who got A1 n i'm below average but couldn't he at least say sth encouraging or not even comment? When i got A2 for math, he even got angry. Why? simply cuz many ppl got A1. y couldn't he see the gd side of things? He's so negative towards things. Everything i do, he juz has to pass a negative comment. To get sth positive frm him is like a miracle. N bcuz of all these, I officially hate ppl who r super smart. I wont mention names but relax if you're my fren then it's not u. cuz some r acceptable. but there r juz SOME who always use cheeminology n i juz cant understand. and my dad sometimes gives me stress by comparing me with super smart ppl. sry lah. i got your genes mah. primary sch smart but secondary sch, mind all blank. my dad used to boast a lot abt how he did so well in primary sch, always 1st in class. One time he proudly showed me his report card, n me (being evil) pointed out the 6 for class position n well obviously the usual him, he changed the subject. n now, my dad doesnt talk much abt his sec sch. obviously he didn't do as well as before n that's sth that he must understand. it's that i'm like him n i'm not a miracle worker.juz bcuz he says do well doesn't mean it comes in a second. it's so hard for him to understand n that's why i'm so stress. that explains pimples, weird hair colour n other symptoms of stress. second thing is character education on tuesday. it was abt family. the importance of family bonding. i realise my family dont really get along well together. every time we go out for a dinner, which we do weekly, there will always been some sort of debate/quarrel. n bcuz sometimes it so cheem, i get left out. it seems like my brother could always voice out his opinions n be heard n me? no one hears me. it's not that i'm speaking too softly, it's juz...i dun even know why. n parents r not the only ones. It juz seems that the whole world of listening to me that sometimes they juz ignore me. It's not easy to be heard. This whole world is so complicated. especially this yr. it's an eventful yr. I've had enough problems, what's next? sth good, i hope :]
